The Long Walk

With the possible exception of David Jonsson, this is one of the worst acted movies I’ve seen. Phillip Seymour Hoffman is one of my all-time favorite actors, but at least for me, his son Cooper doesn’t have the same appeal. Mark Hamill was also wildly poor casting, and his performance was just strange. Besides the acting, the dialogue was bizarre and the bickering between the boys felt so unrealistic. The trailer made this seem like a horror, and had they leaned into that with the movie, I think it could have been great, but instead they went more drama / trauma-bonding / metaphorical that just didn’t work for me. Unless you’re a Stephen King truther, this is a skip.

-Z

Sadly, this was a case of me thinking the trailer looked a little dumb and gave away the entire plot…and that basically was the case. The ending also felt quite out of place, but I had kind of given up hope that that might turn it around at that point. A lot of this movie focuses on conversations, and the dialogue/delivery just did not feel natural. The world they built seemed really intriguing, and I’m sure there was a purpose in not giving away too many details about it and focusing just on the walking, but that led to this feeling more like a play than a movie.

-E

From no expectations, to a potential banger in terms of reviews from people I trust, it created quite the expectations going in. Right when I saw the trailer I was intrigued, but Z and E seemed very skeptical. Overall, I did really enjoy the movie and it did have some emotional parts. I do think the writing was very poor at times, which made the flow tough to be a part of, but I think some good monologues helped me. Overall, its downfall was the anti-climactic and confusing ending. I usually try to stop bad endings from affecting me too much, but this one was objectively bad. Sadly, it had the bones for a great movie, but finished average.

-J

Z 6.5
E 7.0
J 7.75

ZEJ 7.08

Barbarian

Jord watched this in 2022 when it came out with Austin and didn’t love it, so E and I didn’t race to put it on our Spooktober horror watchlist, but after Zach Creggers’ masterstroke of Weapons, our curiosity was piqued, and it was definitely worth the watch. This is much simpler mystery to unravel compared to Weapons and the payoff wasn’t as satisfying, but you can definitely see Cregger was working towards something that is realized better in Weapons. When the humor comes in this, it’s definitely more stark, but I enjoyed it. It was a nice reprieve of the tension. Certainly some issue with the plot and decisions by the characters, but it makes more sense learning, after the fact, that this script began as a writing experiment in which Cregger wanted to write a story where the protagonist ignored as many red flags as possible. If you enjoy horror, this is a must watch.

-Z

Going in mostly blind (except for a pretty basic trailer) was the right choice here. I was terrified to see this in theaters when it released due to an upcoming stay at an AirBnB, but I’m glad the success of Weapons made Z & I revisit this one. It doesn’t quite blend humor and horror with quite the right mix compared to Weapons (although there are some very funny moments), and a lot of the plot here just left me frustrated (classic horror movie non-logic), but overall, better than I expected it to be!

-E

Z 7.5
E 7.75
J 7.42

ZEJ 7.42

KPop Demon Hunters

Unlike Jord, the title for this made me more intrigued than less. As E says, this movie is quite cliche, and has some serious plot issues, BUT it is overwhelmingly made up for by the music and stylish animation. It’s wildly fun, and as Netflix’s most watched movie ever, it’s probably worth watching purely on FOMO basis.

-Z

The plot was a little lacking and predictable, but I was largely okay with that due to the very fun animation and soundtrack! Would be surprised if this doesn’t get an original song nomination come Oscars season. I’d also like it to be known that I picked this for my MFL team before watching it, and I don’t regret that choice!

-E

The marketing team for this film needs to be fired. First off, for me personally, the name is a total turn off to the film. Beyond that, only releasing on Netflix with very little hype is criminal. This is an extremely fun film for both kids and adults with some bangers if you like original music in film. Along with that, the story is surprisingly deep and can hit a lot of the population in one way or another. A must watch for movie lovers and casual watchers alike. I promise it is better than you think.

-J

Z 8.0
E 8.0
J 8.25

ZEJ 8.08

Movie Fantasy League 2025

As we get that first whiff of cool fall air, football returns, and not far behind is Oscar season at the cinema. And just like that, Vulture’s Movie Fantasy League returns for its sophomore season at ZEJ Reviews. Last year, Jord ran away with it, but I think we all know that was a fluke. Join us for year two, and let’s take down our reigning champ together. Here’s the rules:

• Go to https://moviegame.vulture.com/ and fill out your team name and be sure to enter “ZEJ Reviews” under the League Name.

• Draft a team of eight eligible movies released in 2025 using a budget of 100 fake dollars. Each movie has been assigned a value based on its points-earning potential.

• If you draft by September 25, you’ll be able to pick from the full list of eligible movies. Wait longer, and you’ll be limited to only films that haven’t yet started accruing points (i.e. you can only draft unreleased movies that haven’t been nominated for any awards.)

• Starting on September 26, you’ll accrue points based on the box-office performance, awards haul, and critical reception of the movies you picked. Each week starting Monday, September 29, the updated leaderboard will be available on this page and in the weekly MFL newsletter.

• The teams that earn the most points when the game ends after the 2026 Oscars wins!

Good luck to everyone, except Jord, this season!

Nobody 2

Textbook cash grab. Although most cash grab sequel’s put in more effort than this. The script seemed written by ChatGPT, but I’m certain ChatGPT could have done a better job. The critical reviews weren’t much lower than the original, which was not a great movie, but was fun, but this… was much, much worse. This is at a tie for the 3rd worst full-ZEJ rating all-time with Vengeance, only beaten out by Madame Web (3.58) and Megalopolis (2.67), and is ZEJ’s worst movie for 2025 thus far. I rated it lower than Madame Web myself, because while Madame Web is a HORRIBLE movie, it’s in the “so bad it’s good” territory. Nobody 2 is JUST bad.

-Z

Just a sad, sad sequel with no real purpose. Plot and pacing were all over the place with seemingly little logic applied. Very cringey dialogue. I can’t even really say it was fun, but the people sitting next to me were laughing pretty consistently, so there is clearly an audience for this. I love an action movie, but this just gave no effort.

-E

I can't say I'm disappointed in the movie because I didn't have extremely high hopes to begin with. However, I did expect it to be a decent film. After watching John Wick this past summer, I decided to give Nobody a try and I genuinely enjoyed it. That, plus our friend Austin wanting to see the sequel, gave me some excitement. About halfway through the movie I realized that this was just a money grab. The action was lackluster, the story was horrible, and the acting was, I hate to say, forgettable. This is one of the worst movies I've seen in theaters this year, and I truly hope I don't have to find anything worse.

-J

Z 2.5
E 5.5
J 5.0

ZEJ 4.33

Alien: Covenant

Alien: Covenant was an extremely frustrating watch. Much like Prometheus, there’s a lot of good and interesting things happening, but there’s so many bizarre decisions that it’s hard to really enjoy it. MAJOR SPOILERS AHEAD. The biggest whiplash being that the “Ripley” of Prometheus, Elizabeth Shaw, who survived 1,000 deaths in that movie, is killed offscreen prior to the events of Covenant, so she’s just NOT IN IT AT ALL. The whiplash of that decision cannot be overstated, and makes me understand why Napoleon and Gladiator II were so bad - Ridley Scott was losing his touch. Not only that, but the whole mystery you’re unraveling in Prometheus is just dropped cold turkey in Covenant, as you discover the real origins Ridley would like you to explore, the xenomorph’s perfection. Which, to be fair, in and of itself is fascinating, but the way we got to it was too frustrating to appreciate it. Must watch if you’re an Alien fan, but otherwise, this is very skippable.

-Z

While I was really looking forward to a follow-up to Prometheus, this was a bit of a let down in that respect. I still enjoyed watching it despite a pretty predictable plot - I guess I’m pretty in on anything that advances the Alien universe at this point! Michael Fassbender continues to be great here, and a surprisingly serious performance from Danny McBride. But I would really enjoy another prequel movie that explores more of the plot that was getting set up in Prometheus.

-E

Z 7.0
E 7.25
J n/a

~ZEJ 7.13

Prometheus

Michael Fassbender’s performance in Prometheus has lived rent free in my head since 2012, and it was fun to revisit this movie and relive it. I had forgotten much of the rest of it, and so it was fun to re-experience the mystery of it be unraveled. And it really is a great unfolding. There’s a lot that’s great in Prometheus, but there’s also some pretty questionable decisions. Casting Guy Pearce as a 100-year old man. Giving Charlize Theron the most inconsequential character in cinema history. And the unearned “sacrifice” the pilot and his co-pilots make at the culmination of this movie. But the world-building and lore added to the alien franchise that this movie kicks off is really fascinating. Now time to finally watch Covenant.

-Z

I couldn’t remember if I had seen this with Z when it came out or not, but after witnessing some pretty visceral and memorable scenes, I can confidently say this was my first watch! Lots of Alien vs. Predator vibes here, which was a treat. Great world building that I didn’t know I needed to appreciate Alien even more. I’m just confused why they cast Guy Pearce in a role where he had to wear terrible looking old man makeup the entire time.

-E

Z 8.25
E 8.25
J n/a

~ZEJ 8.25

Freakier Friday

Compared to Happy Gilmore 2, Freakier Friday will win Best Picture. But that’s not saying much. The writing and plot was well below the original. While Jamie Lee Curtis’ acting was as good as ever, Lindsay Lohan didn’t quite have the same charm as her first performance. For a major Good Place fan, it was pretty eye opening to see Manny Jacinto’s dramatic chops, and he had me thoroughly convinced he was British in real life, to which I learned he’s in fact Canadian. If you’re a fan of the original movie, you’ll enjoy this, but that is about as much praise as I can give it.

-Z

The bar for me was high on this one, okay? And it did disappoint a bit. The plot did not always make sense like I feel it did in the original, perhaps because they were trying to recreate too much from it. I also didn’t think the acting was as strong as the original. Still, extremely fun to watch Jamie Lee Curtis do her thing and enjoy a bit of nostalgia. Excellent soundtrack!

-E

This is an interesting movie to review. On one hand, it did exactly what it went out to do. On the other hand, did we need it to do that? It was really a fresh take on the original with a lot of fan service, but again, that's what its goal was. It is a true good time at the theater and if you enjoyed the first, then you definitely should go before it’s out of the theaters.

-J

Z 7.25
E 7.25
J 7.25

ZEJ 7.25

Freaky Tales

A film I did not know existed. Scrolling HBO MAX, I stumbled upon this and thought it looked interesting. The simplest and best way to describe this film is just by saying, ‘This film rocks!’ It is filmed in a few different ways and goes through a few different storylines. Overall, I will say if you don't enjoy anthology films you may struggle with me, but please trust the wait is worth it. If you like Kill Bill, Scott Pilgrim, Pedro Pascal, or the downfall of nazis; you will find many smiles throughout the film.

-J

Z n/a
E n/a
J 8.5

~ZEJ 8.5

Weapons

Weapons was incredible. In the realm of Hereditary and Midsommar good, the gold standards for modern A-tier horror. While Sinners is more entertaining, Weapons is more of a horror film. Scary, thrilling, well-written, well-structured, and very funny. The acting is also incredible, as expected from Julia Garner and Josh Brolin, but Amy Madigan at Aunt Gladys is horrifically compelling. Austin Abrams is also incredible in his small role, his chapter felt very Breaking Bad to me in a great way. The mystery behind this movie was very clever and unraveling it to the finale was really satisfying. I really loved the ending, which can be so often disappointing in this genre. E and I missed Barbarian, and while that’s not as critically panned as Weapons, I’m really excited to watch that now, and will be particularly keen on all future Zach Cregger films.

-Z

I’m glad I went into this movie mostly blind - it was shockingly good and creepy! It went far beyond the expectations the trailer set up for me. Excellent (and again, creepy) child acting. Aunt Gladys was a horrific character in the best way. The style and structure were unique, but the ending felt a little off for me. I don’t even really like kids and I couldn’t stop thinking about those poor kids! Would recommend to any horror fans - perfect for the upcoming spooky season!

-E

Right now, I think this is tied with Sinners for the movie of the year. It had it all from scares to laughs, and everything in between. Most people who took the time to watch this film were there due to their love for Barbarian. I on the other hand was skeptical due to my average review of Barbarian. This movie hit all the right notes I think. My only issue with it is that the comedy to horror mix got a little too muddled, but overall that is a tough gripe. I would be fine just watching James chapter again, but I would recommend the whole thing!

-J

Z 8.75
E 8.5
J 9.25

ZEJ 8.83

Superman (1978)

After watching the newest version of Superman, I had to give this a watch. There is something so comforting and great when you watch an old film like this. It reminds me of when I watched the first Planet of the Apes. The colors, the acting, the stunts, and the special effects are just perfect. I am sure that boosts my rating some, but I think it is a cinematic must watch. A great look into ‘the’ superhero movie that starts a long road to where we are now! If you enjoy the fanfare of an old film with some cultural relevance, how aren’t you starting it right now?

-J

Z n/a
E n/a
J 8.5

~ZEJ 8.5

Fantastic Mr. Fox

This review is long due. I watched this before going to The Phonecian Scheme. It wasn’t that long ago that I had seen no Wes Anderson films, and I think that I have found the top of the mountain. This was an animated masterpiece along with fantastic (no pun intended) voice acting and a fun Wes-type story. If you like Wes at all, you need to see it!

-J

Z n/a
E n/a
J 9.5

~ZEJ 9.5

Pretty Woman

My girlfriend isn’t the biggest movie watcher, so we have to pick and choose what we want to watch together. We had a night with nothing to do and we stumbled upon the fact neither of us had seen this classic. It is one I never watched because I thought I knew what it was about. Big mistake, HUGE. It is pretty predictable, but it definitely is a movie that has cemented its spot in classics, and I will say it is well earned.

-J

Z n/a
E n/a
J 8.0

~ZEJ 8.0

Freaky Friday

I don’t know if I ever actually saw Freaky Friday start to finish in a single watch, but remembered many of the scenes from it being on TV in the mid-2000s, and E’s right, it holds up really well. It’s definitely a 2003 time capsule, but the acting from Curtis and Lohan and the excellent dialogue make it ageless. “Take Me Away” is a certified banger and their performance of it absolutely cements the climax of this movie as a cultural cinematic cornerstone.

-Z

One of the most formative movies of my pre-teen years - I have watched this countless times, to the point where I was surprised at how much of the dialogue I still knew by heart. I also knew every single song because I had the soundtrack on CD and listened to it on repeat. All that to say, my review is definitely biased, but I feel pretty strongly that this movie holds up today. Lindsay Lohan’s acting here is quite impressive, and Jamie Lee Curtis is such a legend - the ending scene where she plays the guitar offstage still gives me goosebumps!

-E

Lindsay Lohan is back, so let's see where she started. I think this is the most obvious rewatch this summer for anyone who is going to see Freakier Friday, which obviously the ZEJ team will. I know Z and E liked it a lot, but I didn’t think it held up as well. It was a fun watch, but I definitely think it is a product of its time. Really was a watch to prepare for Freakier Friday, but a great blast from the past none the less.

-J

Z 8.0
E 8.5
J 7.5

ZEJ 8.0

Happy Gilmore 2

Jord kept his 7/10 rating short because he couldn’t justify it. It doesn’t hold up to scrutiny. Happy Gilmore 2 is so bad that it nearly taints the legacy of the original and had we not just watched the original it would make me question how well it held up. I can assure you the original holds up, but I seriously have no idea how such a legacy movie can have such a poor sequel. It’s really weird too, because the first half of this movie is just below average bad like 6/10 but the last 45 minutes is worst stuff you’ve ever seen put on screen bad 3/10 stuff, thus the 4.5/10 overall from me. They milked every single cameo and callback they could to very little benefit. Don’t waste your time on this, especially if you’re an OG Happy Gilmore fan.

-Z

Yikes - this was a letdown. A lot of the movie felt forced - both in the cameos and callbacks - and the ending just spiraled off the rails into a downright bad movie. Watch the original and skip this one, folks.

-E

I will keep this short because I know Z and E will be mad about this number. If you know what you are getting into it is a fun film. The call backs are nostalgic and I did enjoy getting to see Happy in a movie again. Overall though, in a movie sense, they have no confidence in the audience and did the opposite of catering to the fans, but catered to the actors. Overall, it can be fun but it is not a great film by any means!

-J

Z 4.5
E 5.5
J 7.0

ZEJ 5.67

Y Tu Mamá También

Yes, Y Tu Mamá También, was a movie that my high school Spanish class watched. How that’s the case, I’ll never know, as there’s multiple inappropriate scenes just in the first ten minutes, though E and Jord have some understandable skepticism as to whether I can be trusted on this matter. It was fun to revisit this twenty years later, and especially to be reminded how distorted memories can be. Because we were all immature teens, we laughed a lot at this movie, but rewatching it now, it really isn’t very funny. What it really is - a movie that masquerades as a male fantasy coming of age story but is actually a quite profound queer love tale. Alfonso Cuaron, who would go on to win Best Director twice, was clearly cooking with this, and it’s sort of amazing to look back and see that he went from Y Tu Mamá También to direct Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban. His last movie, Roma, which was incredible, was in 2018, and we desperately need him to return to the silver screen!

-Z

The lore of this movie within the ZEJ team is truly something else, and Z and I finally made time for a watch. I went into this expecting a laugh-out-loud comedy, based on Zach’s questionable teenage memory, so was initially really disappointed that it is purely a drama. Giving it more thought, I still don’t love this movie, but I can appreciate what it is going for a bit more.

-E

Rumor has it that this was shown in one of our high school spanish classes, and I can’t believe it. I gave it a watch after hearing that along with it being potentially ‘the sexiest movie ever.’ It definitely is sexy, but I don’t know about the claim that it was watched in a high school classroom. Overall, I really enjoyed this movie. Beyond the obvious themes that are in your face, there are many levels to this film. Immediately after I looked up the director's filmography and added a bunch to my watchlist. If you can watch a foreign film and enjoy them, this is a must watch film!

-J on 8/11/25

Z 8.5
E 7.5
J 9.0

~ZEJ 9.0

Happy Gilmore

As with Naked Gun, low brow humor absolutely hits when done right and Happy Gilmore is done right. Had to give it a refresh going into the sequel and so glad we did because as E says, it holds up. The reviews don’t have me too hopeful for the sequel, but then again the reviews for the original were pretty bad so we’ll see.

-Z

The humor in this movie holds up surprisingly well! I’m not always a huge Adam Sandler fan, but this performance feels quite sincere. Knowing a lot more about golf now than the first time I saw this also added to the experience for sure.

-E

Z 8.25
E 7.75
J n/a

~ZEJ 8.0

Together

Together was really weird, because I really was entertained it, but they so chickened out on the very premise that it leaves you severely disappointed. Literally every body horror moment is in the trailer, and that is really difficult just to fathom. Big fan of Alison Brie and Dave Franco, and while they were entertaining, something just didn’t quite work with them together here. If you’re a fan of horror, you might enjoy it but I would definitely temper your expectations.

-Z

The concept of this was great, and it built suspense pretty well, but it just didn’t fully come together. I kept waiting for an ending that would pull it all back on the rails, but the ending was even more disappointing than the rest. I think we needed a bit more backstory for the horror elements to really work here. The Substance has set a pretty high bar for body horror expectations, which this did not meet either.

-E

This is a sad 7.75. I was pumped for this going in. I remember seeing the trailer for the first time and knew this was a must see for me. My first issue is Dave Franco and Alison Brie sadly (and amazingly) did not seem to click in the film. My second issue usually doesn’t happen, but the cool idea had nothing behind it. I liked how it looked and was hooked for the entirety of the movie, but I ended with a confused face wanting more from the film. Give it a watch, especially if you are nervous it is too gross, it fell into my 3rd and final issue, it did not go nearly far enough with visuals.

-J

Z 7.0
E 7.0
J 7.75

ZEJ 7.25

The Naked Gun

So happy the Naked Gun has returned to us, and its spirit faithfully adapted to 2025. While Liam Neeson doesn’t have the same charm as Leslie Nielson, I’m just happy this movie exists and was released in theaters. The humor didn’t quite strike the balance that original did of low brow but clever, forgoing the clever at times, but there were some very funny bits and it’s safe to say the ZEJ team all had fun with it. This is heartily recommended a ZEJ 7.5/10 can come.

-Z

Not nearly as funny as the original, but still a very fun watch! The “dumb” aspects of the humor here are perhaps a little too dumb at times. Glad to see a continuation of this story in a movie that feels quite different from everything else at the theater!

-E

Surprising to some, this is just not my kind of humor. In the grand scheme of things though, I cannot be more thankful that a movie like this exists in 2025. Maybe we can get back to movies coming out to be funny and a place to go laugh. It has been a long time since a movie like this came out in theaters. I also have laughed a lot more thinking back on it. Maybe another watch could raise my rating, but overall it's a fun laugh and should be seen if you like dumb humor! Liam and Pamela play the parts exactly the way they needed to!

-J

Z 7.75
E 7.25
J 7.5

ZEJ 7.5

The Naked Gun: From the Files of Police Squad!

As E says, this movie makes me laugh in a way that few do. There’s low brow humor and then there’s low brow humor that is incredibly clever, and the Naked Gun (1988) has that in spades. Leslie Nielsen in particular sells this movie for me too, as he’s fits the bill of mid-century detective so perfectly that for him to lampoon it is genius. I’m actually on realizing now writing this review that it was a 6 episode TV show originally, so I’m definitely going to have to check that out. Excited for the new one to out!

-Z

My memory of first watching this was shortly after Z and I got married, and I remember thinking that was the hardest I had ever seen him laugh at a movie. A rewatch 11+ years later still left Zach laughing unbelievably hard (and then somehow falling asleep for the last 20 minutes?). There are SO MANY hilarious bits in this movie - the boat scene with OJ Simpson and the runaway car scene prove to me that “dumb” humor can work very very well when in the right hands. A classic!

-E

Z 8.5
E 8.0
J n/a

~ZEJ 8.25