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Movie reviews and ratings by two married people (Z)ach and (E)llen and their third wheel (J)ordan. Scroll for the latest reviews or check out our ratings table to find our favorites.
The Long Game
"Sometimes you land in the fairway, sometimes the bunker. But you always play it as it lies.”
It's a pretty crazy story. But the movie is so corny lol... exactly like every sports movie it seems
-J
Z N/A
E N/A
J 7.0
~ZEJ 7.0
Late Night with the Devil
Saw this at 4 PM on Tuesday at Varsity Theater, which was a choice, as we were the only ones in the theater, and though this wasn't the scariest movie I've ever seen, it was so unnerving that the emptiness of the theater definitely compounded the dread. Absolutely loved this movie. Ellen thinks its a top 5 horror movie for her all-time, and I think I'm probably there too. I was absolutely dialed in for the entire film, transfixed by David Dastmalchian, Ingrid Torelli, and Ian Bliss. All the style choices were perfect, with the found footage and limited but pitch perfect narration. Absolutely loved it.
-Z
Great movie. Easily one of the most original concepts for a movie I’ve seen in a long time. It towed the line perfectly between a modern day and classic horror movie, with some of the effects feeling right out of an 80s slasher film. David Dastmalchian absolutely shined as the leading man. For playing a creep in basically everything, he played the relatable talk show host perfectly. And I won’t even go into the thinly veiled commentary on the state of talkshows nowadays. Overall a great film that didn’t overstay its welcome, that had me laughing while also white knuckling my chair and taking deep breaths.
9.0 / 10
-Tony (Guest Rater & Official Tiebreaker)
Z 9.25
E 9.0
J 8.5
ZEJ 8.92
Monkey Man
The trailer made this look amazing, and it kind of was, until the third act, in which it just totally fell apart. Dev Patel was already a must watch actor, and for his directorial debut, this was an entertaining first attempt, with story elements that were very intriguing but just couldn't quite tie all together in a way that made sense. Look forward to what Dev does next.
-Z
Z 7.25
E 7.0
J 7.5
ZEJ 7.25
Kiss Kiss Bang Bang
A fun throwback to the mid-2000s, when homophobia was still considered funny. The poor agedness of that aside, it's an enjoyable noir whodunnit, and attempts to be Tarantino-esque in terms of plot points and dialogue, featuring a brilliant performance from Robert Downey Jr. in the very first role out of his rehab stint, ushering in his comeback to becoming Iron Man. Definitely worth a watch if you're looking for something comedic and nostalgic.
-Z
Z 7.5
E 7.25
J N/A
~ZEJ 7.38
Green Room
Really cleverly written movie with almost no exposition, which was refreshing, and all of the characters felt real and humanized, despite more than half of them being Nazis. As much as I love Patrick Stewart, I didn't feel like he was right for this role. Felt out of place. There was some action sequences that didn't exactly make sense, especially whenever the dogs were involved. But overall really fun movie with full adrenaline for the final four-fifths, which is always fun.
-Z
Greenroom (2015) gets a 9.0 from me. Cool story, great visuals, and believable characters. Austin was right. Patrick Stewart does play a great villain. His calmness and professionalism was pretty effin unsettling. I struggled with this one, as i don't do super well with suspensful thrillers like this, but i felt all the suspense was important in the story and not just there to make me feel nervous. All in all, highly enjoyed the film, and ill probably never watch it again.
-Tony, Guest Rater & Official Tiebreaker
Z 8.5
E 8.5
J N/A
~ZEJ 8.5
Love Lies Bleeding
What an absolute ride. It has everything. Humor, guns, steroids, Ed Harris in an absolutely ridiculous wig that somehow makes sense, Dave Franco with the most unbelievable rat tail that somehow makes sense, an incredibly tight script and pacing with no wasted moments or filler, and pitch perfect performances by every actor involved. Totally unique. Loved every second of it.
-Z
Z 9.0
E 9.0
J 9.0
ZEJ 9.0
Origin
One of the most polarizing movies of 2023 for Ellen and I. It's underlying premise is really powerful, i.e. based on the nonfiction book Caste about how racism in America is actually an aspect of a caste system which is a global phenomenon and connects the black experience in America to persecution of the Jews and the untouchables in India. I struggled with it as a movie; however, as I found it slow and dramatic most of the time. Ellen was largely dialed in for the duration. It was considered a snub by some critics for the Oscars as it had no nominations but I can't say I disagree with the academy on this one.
-Z
Z 7.25
E 8.25
J N/A
~ZEJ 7.75
The Boy and the Heron
Visually beautiful per usual with Miyazaki but the story was not very unique per his prior work and didn't grab me very much. Pattinson's dub work was top notch. 8.25. Worth a watch but not Oscar worthy IMO.
-Z
